Defining Co-Creative Relationships in 3 Steps
The Intro
Wouldn’t it be nice if all it took to develop a healthy partnership – is undivided eye contact, a genuine smile, and a classic, firm handshake? Truly, our discovery of a productive partnership is only surpassed by us achieving consistency in a reciprocal relationship. A reciprocal relationship or co-creative relationship (in the professional coaching world) involves three steps to define and clearly establish:
1. Mutual respect for co-creative roles and responsibilities
2. Shared goals to understand professional coaching ethics and standards
3. Collaborative commitment to build and sustain co-creative relationships
First Step: Mutual respect for co-creative roles and responsibilities
We can achieve that classic, firm handshake atmosphere through a reciprocal relationship. A shared, basic approach to exchange clear communication and understanding of coaches and clients’ roles and responsibilities. Until there is mutual respect between coaches and clients, the co-creative relationships we seek will never become a classic, firm handshake atmosphere. We will experience nothing more than a modern, soft head nod acknowledgement. As a result, we will see co-creative optics that clearly display shared images of mutual disregard. In professional coaching circles, we prefer the classic, firm handshake atmosphere. For a co-creative relationship to start with healthy reciprocation, the co-creators (coach and client) need to have a healthy, mutual respect for each other’s roles and responsibilities. We can start with the coach. A coach is an unattached thinking and accountability partner. The coach is responsible for:
1. Part One: Establishing the Co-Creative Partnership
a. Setting appropriate boundaries and policies.
b. Letting the client determine the agenda for sessions.
c. Listening to the client on multiple levels continually.
d. Asking powerful, direct questions.
e. Genuinely appreciating, endorsing, and supporting the client.
2. Part Two: Empowering the Co-Creative Partnership
a. Taking the risk to be wrong rather than holding back important truths.
b. Assisting with setting goals, planning and strategizing.
c. Offering perspectives, options, and suggestions to raise awareness and catalyze the client’s own solutions.
d. Making powerful requests to deepen the client’s process between sessions.
e. Upholding the highest professional standards and ethical guidelines.
Now, we can discuss the client’s role in professional coaching. In a coaching relationship, clients:
1. Part One: Plan the Work
a. Supply the agenda (their desired takeaway) for each session.
b. Are responsible for their own feelings, decisions, actions, and success.
c. Tell the truth as they understand it to the coach.
2. Part Two: Work the Plan
a. Do their own work.
b. Pay their coaching fees on time.
c. Show up physically and energetically to sessions.
Second Step: Shared goals to understand professional coaching ethics and standards
We approach personal services with a sense of prudent skepticism, looking for someone who is attentive to our needs and skills. We wonder how this person will navigate our journey with care and consideration, guiding us through challenges towards promising opportunities.
1. Part One: Coaching Subtlety
a. Failing to walk your talk.
b. Trying to fix or save your client.
c. Breaking the client’s confidentiality.
d. Manipulating a client into hiring you.
e. Taking credit for ideas that are not yours.
f. Misrepresenting your credentials or experience.
2. Part Two: Coaching Sabotage
a. Taking the client’s responsibility away from them.
b. Making unrealistic claims about the benefits of your services.
c. Avoiding discussions with clients about current and unresolved issues.
d. Creating conflicts of interest or compromising dual relationships with clients.
e. Enrolling or continuing a coaching relationship with a client that’s not right for you.
3. Part Three: Client Sabotage
a. The client is not paying their fee on time.
b. The client continually expects you to have the answers.
c. The client does not bring a real, current agenda topic to each session.
Third Step: Collaborative commitment to build and sustain co-creative relationships
We approach personal services with a sense of prudent skepticism, looking for someone who is attentive to our needs and skills. We wonder how this person will navigate our journey with care and consideration, guiding us through challenges towards promising opportunities.
1. Part One: Collaborative Commitment to know who Coaches ARE:
a. Focused on people.
b. Hired to support the client as they achieve a certain outcome.
c. Unattached thinkers and accountability partners to assist their clients.
2. Part Two: Collaborative Commitment to know who Coaches ARE NOT:
a. Focused on results.
b. Hired to produce a certain outcome.
c. Appropriate as front-line support for individuals suffering from chronic depression, anxiety, neuroses or addictions.
d. Experts in medical and behavioral sciences trained to treat diagnosable conditions.
e. Required to keep their personal feelings and thoughts removed.
f. Creating conflicts of interest or compromising dual relationships with clients.
3. Part Three: Collaborative Commitment to know what Coaches DO:
a. Guide their clients to their own solutions.
b. Work with clients who want a detached partner to help them enhance their lives through action.
c. Use questions and reflections to highlight their client’s strengths and areas in need of development and then help the client uncover their own wisdom and solutions.
d. Use personal disclosure as a tool to catalyze and challenge their clients.
4. Part Four: Collaborative Commitment to know what Coaches DO NOT:
a. Diagnose, treat, or fix the client.
b. Manipulate or take advantage of the client relationship.
c. Take responsibility for the client’s feelings, decisions, actions or success.
d. Do the client’s work for them.
e. Work with a client when the coach’s integrity says it’s not right anymore.
f. Get invested in what a client does.
g. Coach clients without having the fee in hand unless specific arrangements were made pro bono or barter coaching.
h. Advise their clients about how to solve problems.
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